YEELING

2010-07-05T21:39:00.000+08:00

I hereby pronounce this place dead. Don't bother to come here anymore. :D

2010-02-12T22:44:00.002+08:00

I want to make an account of OG! :D

I am very happy because I think I have a great OG! Yay! OG14! :D I think all my OGMs are very adorable and special. Haha. All of them are very kind and passionate. Let me cite an example. People who have observed me well, would know that I don't put ear backing on your earrings. During mass dance at Suntec Fountain of Wealth, I lost one of my earring. So, I was searching for it. Then one of my OGMs approached me and asked me what I was doing, and I told him that I was looking for my lost earring. And in the end, almost everyone in the OG started to help me look for my earring on the ground. I was extremely touched and happy! It was rather dark and the ground was wet. It seemed like an impossible task to find my earring. In the end, no one found it there! Haha! Honestly, I was really touched by them.

And the OGMs can remember my name! Haha! I am very happy! And actually we all get along pretty well. Haha. I have made great friends over this orientation! And I love all of them! :D

Bring me to where I want to go.

2010-01-22T23:57:00.002+08:00

Frankly speaking, I can no longer stand walking alone in school anymore. Whenever I walk alone in school, I start seeing and imagining him at different parts of the school compound. Seriously, I can see him practically everywhere if you let me walk alone. I don't exactly resist the feeling of missing him, but I do feel somewhat left behind by time.

Sometimes when I space out, I start thinking about him again. I feel like someone who is still living in the past, hoping that he would come back one day. Actually, I am able to move on fine without him. The many events occurring have kept me distracted.

Like I said, I don't resist or dislike the idea of liking him. It has turned into an addiction, which is very hard for me to kick. It's present in my subconscious mind, so much that I can feel something burning when similar feelings resurface.

Truth is, I cannot walk out from the past, because no one is ready to pull me out of it.

2010-01-05T22:53:00.002+08:00

Hahaha! Suddenly, I feel this urge to study! Woohoo! Damn cool man! I wonder if I can sustain this sudden gush of energy. I shall try to regenerate it as often as possible. It feels good to be studying again! Hohoho!

I am going to start on a long term plan to study really hard for A levels. I'm going to start right now! This moment! I shall start with bio first! Yea! I'm going to go on full blast soon. I must not run out of battery.

I'm going to push myself real hard now. Yea! :D

Don't procrastinate too much. Start now!

2010-01-01T22:39:00.002+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR! :D

I should be setting some new resolutions right? It's quite easy for me lah. Haha.

1. Stay happy and joyful!
2. Do well in studies!
3. Make everyone around me happy!

Perhaps everyone might have lost their driving force to study hard for tests and examinations. For at least, I have. I shall look for my drive now! I must start preparing for the waging war. Yea! Eh, you should start too okay? :D

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

2009-12-06T23:46:00.003+08:00

To update everyone what I am doing nowadays and for the rest of the year, I am here! :D

I have been typing reflections for the internship at Pathlight School. That's the reason why I have not been bored to come here. Anyway, I am still missing four more entries. Haha.

I have decided to take a one day leave on 15 december to attend the chalets. Apparently, I have two chalets, 2r6 chalet and TJCO chalet. I feel that I need to attend both. So, I have decided to take a day off! :D I shall go out to play! :D

After internship and chalets, come the dance practices for OGL. Don't doubt me, I am an OGL. Don't be too shocked upon hearing this. Perhaps I don't have a burning passion to cheer and dance, but I told myself to make it a memorable experience for everyone in my OG. I want them to love TJC! :D I need not be the one who is at the frontline cheering madly, because I want to be the one who makes sure that every single person is still with the team, safe and sound.

I hope I can be a good OGL. :D Hope I can master the cheers and dances well. Well, I think I can. That's why I joined! Yee Ling doesn't take something on, unless she has the confidence to do it and do it well! :D

For next year, I applied for H3 biology and I got it. I was pretty happy to have it. Haha. But it spells the beginning of busy fridays. I am still wondering how I will get to RI. But I suppose it would be quite interesting to study at a boy's school. Hohoho. Or was it RIJC? Whatever.

I suppose my internship has benefitted me in some way. I have been thinking about what I want to do in the future. I am still unsure of it. At this age, we ought to have some idea of what we want to do later. ): I shall try to think about it. :D

I want to build up my defences and weapons again, in case.

2009-11-12T00:30:00.002+08:00

PW is over! :D

I don't know what I can do now. I don't feel like jumping into the pool of books again. It's a drain of my energy. I shall try to space out my time.

Now I have this really busy holiday to cope with. I'm quite happy. HAHA. It's a manageable holiday, I suppose.

I don't know, but I have this feeling that you want me out of your world.

Save the trouble. I wasn't even in.

2009-10-26T23:10:00.002+08:00

It's time to say goodbye. You left without any trace. I can't bear to watch you leave. For you, didn't even give me a chance to bade farewell.

I can only watch from afar, sobbing deep down, why there wasn't any ending. It was just like a weak flame dying out slowly, barely showing its existance.

I turned my head back a few more times, look at you a few more times, for fear that I will never see you again. And I think I won't be seeing you in the future anymore.

May our memories relive one day. Otherwise, just stay buried deep.

2009-10-26T00:19:00.002+08:00

I know I shouldn't be venting my frustration when I think of him. ):

I shall try to work out something. I know I can do it. (: Haha.

It's pretty contradicting to be sad and then happy the next moment. Frankly, I'm not feeling happy this night.

I dont't know what to say, if this is the way we are parting.

2009-09-25T23:58:00.002+08:00

A horrible week packed with tests and projectwork is history now. Haha. I'm not worrying for my promos, which makes me anxious because I haven't studied much. I cannot sense the urgency. Actually, I hope someone can guide me to the correct feeling I should have.

I have no idea how much stress I'm under. I know that I'm pressurised, but I want to know the extent. It's quite uneasy not knowing how much stress one is under. As I'm typing, I'm starting to feel the stress. Apparently, I'm happy that I'm feeling anxious over promos. Because that is the gear that drives me to study.

Studying alone is the most effective. And I like to have the right feeling to study a particular subject too. I'm a very naughty and picky girl, I need the right feeling before I'm contented enough to start work.

I must work hard! :D I shall self-motivate myself. I'm a very independent person. That's how my mom always describe me to my teachers since primary school. Sigh. Anyway, it's a good comment. Haha.

I need to work hard so that I can do well.

I shall push myself till I reach the edge of the cliff. Be careful, don't fall off.

2009-09-09T23:39:00.000+08:00

I shall make my posts sounds less abstract and more relevant. I kind of forget the fact that this is not a personal diary for my reference only. Haha.

Today is 090909. And I had a great time today. I shall not tell you who I went out with, but I love them! :D I barely studied and went out to play again. Woohoo! I'm such a playful person. So next time, when you want a playing companion, come look for me! :D

Let me tell you something funny my mother told me today. I asked her if I could go night studying with my good friend leechuang, she said it was stupid to study instead of sleep. Of course, I was a little pissed off, but I expected an answer along that line, so it was alright. Then she went on to say, " You don't need it anyway." Haha. :D

Our actions reflect our fear.

2009-09-06T23:22:00.000+08:00

I told myself I would never forget yesterday. It finally happened. I would never ever forget it. Never ever.

You would be surprised how insignificant it was. I wished for that to happen since years ago. Seriously. It finally came true. Even if it was going to be the first and last time, I'm already happy enough. For at least, there was a single time. Sometimes, I wished all of these would never end. Honestly, it would seem simply insignificant and stupid to others, but it is like a surreal dream to me.

I know you are wondering what I'm trying to drive at again. But I suppose you can guess it some way or another. I know I'm being very foolish and stupid. Of course, I myself clearly know that I would never get it. As long as I'm happy and not regretful, that's all that really matters. The last thing I want to do is to reveal it out.

It seemed short-lived and I wished it never had an ending.

2009-08-25T22:52:00.000+08:00

I didn't forget. Even if that function never existed, I'll still remember it. I won't forget it. It's not easy to forget something that is special to you. I can forget everyone else's, but I definitely won't forget yours.

Seriously, it's not easy for me to remember something vividly and get reminded automatically whenever these dates come along. It's really hard. It's kept in my heart all the time. If I remember something about you very clearly, you are very important to me.

I know I did it at the wrong timing. I'm sick of waiting. It's been far too long.

I didn't forget, just appear.

2009-08-22T21:02:00.002+08:00

I went back to ngee ann today. I was supposed to go back for an alumni CO practice. It's pretty cool how I can force myself to wake up in the morning to go for this, when I'm always late for study dates at the library. Haha.

Before I step into the cd shelter, I smelt something so familiar. It was the smell of the place we always practised at. It immediately triggered those past memories. I like this feeling.

I like it.

I just wanna say that if I like your smell, I won't want to forget you.

In short, I want you to be with me all the while.

I was asked an intriguing question today. I have the answer.

I like the way you react to me.

2009-08-14T23:36:00.002+08:00

It's been really long since I posted any blogposts. Hah.

I think it's time for me to start prioritising my time now. I'm starting to get the jitters from all the pressure placed on me. It's an invisible force, pushing you to your limits. At first, it simply irritates you, but after some time, it seems to be all fine and acceptable. It's something that you can never go against. I suppose we can only learn to live with it.

I define my life into two main parts, studying and playing. And I was playing today. The whole day. I've been playing too much. I need someone to anchor me down, but constant studying just isn't my style. I only come to realise that I'm such a playful person.

There is a need to settle down. I seem to have come to terms with it, but I'm still playing my time away. Anyway, I suppose playing after OP ain't a bad idea? :D

Putting aside the idea of me playing, my anger level was high today. I think I'm under some pressure and stress. The scary thing is that I can't sense it. That's intimidating.

I think I'm just angry with myself. Of course, it was exacerbated by external factors. It's alright, I'm feeling happy again now.

Stop playing so much.

2009-07-29T23:33:00.002+08:00

I don't like it when my mindset changes everyday. In the end, despite the new mindset made the previous day, I still revert back to the old one. Sigh. Subsequently, it goes back and forth. Swinging from place to place. But it always swings back to the old mindset.

Not that I don't like the old mindset, perhaps the new mindset is new and appealing for now. But whenever the new mindset gives me troubles, I'll immediately revert back to the old one.

Till now, I still resist changes.

This uncertainty gets on my nerves.

2009-07-27T00:04:00.002+08:00

Okay, I'm bored. Although it's late, but I don't want to sleep yet.

Recently, I've been thinking about it. It ravages my mind, occupies my heart, takes my attention and concentration away. It fills my mind completely. I can no longer it, though I refuse to take it away either. I find it amazing. How it can change just like this, but return back the next moment. It simply amazes me.

It's not as if this had never happened to me before. Come to think of it, I prefer confusion. I prefer it to be all blurred and unsure. It gives me room to think. Perhaps, I just enjoy observing reactions of others towards relationships. It's interesting to see how one's reaction can influence that of another's.

Those memories never fail to bring a foolish smile on my face. Given my poor memory, I hope I won't forget anything. Honestly, I cherish all my relationships. Actually, my memory isn't bad, it's selective. Frankly, I only remember things that I like. Hah.

The things I like are very limited. Don't be too sad if I always forget stuff about you. I care and love everyone. Come closer to me and you will know it.

Glad you know it. Never do stupid things again then.

2009-07-23T21:22:00.004+08:00

It all seems weird when your ideas or thoughts start contradicting each other. It feels as if they don't carry any weight. It kind of undermines self-confidence, when you can't even figure out exactly what you wish to achieve. That's what I concluded.

I don't know what went wrong with me, but I actually like to let myself be depressed. Take note, I'm not depressed. :D I like the feeling of letting my emotions swing across the spectrum from depression to euphoria within that split moment. Actually, I can say that I purposely made myself feel depressed, to contrast and bring out the difference of being happy.

Honestly, I really do make myself depressed. I realised that there's only one reason I would make myself depressed over. Only that. Wallowing in the depths of depression aint at all bad. Like I would say, as long as I like it.

I like to experience lots of emotions, especially when I have a strong feeling for it. A very strong and powerful feeling.

Undoubtedly, I am very happy. I find it hard not to smile heartily for a day. Seriously, I find it hard to not smile or laugh, or even smirk. Haha.

I never told a single someone, everything about me before. Trust me, I have much to hide.

2009-07-19T00:00:00.003+08:00

I was trying to cut my fringe in the toilet just now. Apparently, it's no easy job, when the scissors my mom gave me was so small. It can barely cut an inch each time. And I realise it's not funny when small stubs of hair make their way into my eyes. Haha.

I succeeded in getting my fringe nicely trimmed. Short enough to not obstruct my vision. But I have this feeling that I'm going to do the same thing again in due time.

Anyway, I just realised my hair is really long. looooooooooooooooooooooong. :D

Hairy~

2009-07-12T23:37:00.003+08:00

Recently, I was motivated to study really hard and score super well for my promos. Haha. Seriously, I felt motivated. It's been so long since someone could motivate me like this. Whenever I think about this, I would feel the gush to excel and live up to his expectation of me. I hope it's really the case. Hah.

Honestly, I wish this feeling can last for a long period of time. It makes me feel euphoric, more than just happy you see, and it kind of removes the heavy load all that stress has placed on me. The worst thing is that, I created the stress. Can you imagine it? Yea of course. Hahahaha.

I cannot stop myself from pressuring on myself. It worries me when that euphoria seems to be diminishing every subsequent time I think of it to motivate myself.

I shall relax. I know I look calm, as it nothing great happened, but actually, I'm on the verge of pulling all my hair out. Sometimes, it proves to be too much for me to handle, such that my reaction is equivalent to nothing at all.

In any case, I shall relax and slowly tackle the tasks. Yea. Sounds like a marvellous idea. Bravo! Haha.

Sometimes, a moderate amount of self-deception is needed.

2009-07-08T23:47:00.002+08:00

I felt a little stressed over pw just now. The thought of our teacher's face and voice scares the hell out of me. If she were less forceful, I guess pw could have been a lot more enjoyable for me. Seriously, pw scares the hell out of me.

I hate to feel fearful, because the thought of having to stand on my toes all day makes me all jittery. It's been pretty long since I felt so afraid. See, I lost all my immunity to defend myself against those malicious attacks. I need to build it up soon. It's going to be a tough period ahead. And I look forward to it. Hahahahaha.

Yet again, there would be this long list of tasks to complete.

Honestly, it's starting to give me the shivers.

2009-07-07T23:30:00.003+08:00

Shortly after the teevee show ended, I felt a sudden tireness rushing into my head, then spreading to the rest of my body. I wondered why. Perhaps the tutorials I was doing exhausted me? Perhaps I was getting worn out for the day? Perhaps the thought of the monotonous studying life pulled my spirits down?

Today, I slept for the most number of hours for these few years, I think. I know it's going to sound hilarious, but I slept for 12 hours straight. I don't need so much sleep. It's pretty crazy, and I had to give up my date with Rui Shan. Haha. I woke up suddenly at the time I was supposed to meet her. Haha.

I barely enjoyed this few days, and it's ending abruptly now. Only to be haunted by new assignments and the previous blunders. During this few weeks, I've always been in the comfort zone, feeling happy and relaxed with time on my hand. Now, I think I'm going to be placed under pressure yet again. The starting of this new period always hurts, but I always like the period following this. I would be stronger and more willing to accept the pressure. Moreover, like what people always say, hardships shape one's personality.

Like who doesn't want to be a better person each day?

As long as we think we deserve it.

2009-07-03T23:28:00.006+08:00

The exams are finally done. Haha. I'm not particularly extremely euphoric over it, but I would definitely be happy not studying in front of the television. I do feel a little funny not doing any work. Haha.

I think the results are going to suck man. Honestly, I'm not kidding. I know roughly how well I did. It's not close to well, it's lousy. Haha. But anyway, it's over and it doesn't really matter to me. Sigh. I don't even give a damn about my academic results now. :D

Because I think it's going to be a disaster. I guess I pictured TJ to be a school different from MJ, it's actually the same. Seriously, I don't get the point why schools want to set such tough papers to demoralise us (although I don't feel this way).

I was working hard, yet wasting time slacking and doing some recreational stuff. Haha. I just couldn't get into the mood to seriously mug. Nonetheless, I think I need to brush up on my schoolwork now.

Arh. Whatever. As long as I'm happy. :D

You need to appease me with your appearance.

2009-06-29T23:07:00.002+08:00

Our lovely Econs paper just ended today! Woohoo! It feels like the exams are half-done, though it's just the beginning with one paper down. Haha. I never really fancied econs anyway, so I'm rather happy to get it over and done with. :D

I feel much less uptight over the JCTs now. Seriously. I guess it's because the rest are relatively easier to study, to my brain that is. I shall study later. :D

It's good to have this perception that study can be enjoyable. For the least, I try to make myself think that it's enjoyable. It works sometimes, but I'm not sure if I'm deceiving myself or not. All the information and words get in more easily when you are happier. I'm very sure of that. :D

Michael Jackson passed away recently. This made me think of his famous dance - moonwalk. I really like to see dancers do the moonwalk. I think it's super cool, even though I've seen it for a dozen times. Honestly, I think that it's really nice to watch. Actually, Michael Jackson looks fine from afar. Haha. He can look a little scary upon a close-up. Despite all the proclaimed illegal and cruel acts he has done, we cannot deny his influence on the pop industry. Though I'm not his fan, I do feel a little sad over his death.

I went to popular yesterday, which was a sunday, to buy new earphones. It's ridiculous how my earphones can spoil periodically every 6 months. Sigh. Anyway, I overheard a lady wanting Michael Jackson's album. The shopkeeper said that it's sold out, since there was only a pathetic three. It's rather practical to see how people rush to buy albums of a person who had just passed away. I reckon that three pieces must have been left on the shelf for a damn long time before he passed away.

I didn't know my parents are fans of him, but not the hard-core ones. We have Laser Discs of his albums at home. You know, the big discs that are even bigger than your face? I seriously wonder if the LDs still work. It's pretty cool to have such antiques at home. Come to think of it, Michael Jackson carved at his career at a pretty young age then. A pop icon at that time, my parents' time. Haha.

Okay, the reason I blabbered on so long about him is because I love his moonwalk. That's all! :D

What does it take to make you come here?

2009-06-20T23:29:00.003+08:00

Sometimes we seem to have regret our actions, but on deep thought, it actually isn't the case. Just because our heart wavers and feeling towards a certain object or event or even someone changes, it's natural to think that the reaction would be permanent. However, it is often puzzling how the regret or feeling can undo itself. So then, the reaction is no longer permanent.

Since the reaction is not permanent, is the regret there?

I often tell myself not to regret what I've done. Apparently, I've missed out on a whole bunch of opportunities. And of course, I feel a little regretful. It's natural, eh? Somehow, I always feel a little uncomfortable having even small regrets in my life. So, I always tell myself that I've got no regrets. In the end, it seems like it's all self-deception.

Even with all those regrets, I still stand by my own decisions and respect how others view it. I'm still happy. I managed to convince myself that I should stand by my decision no matter what, no matter how wrong it may be. Honestly, I spend a great deal of time on that. Not to mean that I've got a lot of regrets. It's that, I tend to be unable to let go of things easily.

I've been clinging onto something that I should have let go of long ago. And I don't think I'm ready to release and let it leave.

2009-06-14T12:57:00.002+08:00

I'm happy with what I have now.

If I could learn how to let go on certain stuff, I would be even happier.
If I could be more forgiving, I would be even happier too.
If I could let my unhappiness flow away easily, I would be one of the world's happiest person.

I shall strive towards these goals and be happier. Humans are selfish to a certain extent, that's an undeniable fact. I shall be selfish and hope to be happier. And I have another small tiny wish too.

I wish my family and friends and you, the one reading this, can be happy too!
Hopefully under my influence. Hah. :D
I may not show wide smiles everyday, but I know that I'm a happy and contented person. So, I hope you are too. :D

Don't get bogged down by the nitty-gritty stuff. Learn to move on.

2009-06-04T23:05:00.003+08:00

I'm feeling a little lousy now. And I think I know why. Hah. For once, I can understand the reason behind my feelings. That orange bar just keeps blinking and blinking, yet I can only stand by and watch. Anyway, it's good to feel a little down sometimes.

Seriously, feeling down sometimes balances your emotions. It makes you happy when you meet happy stuff. Imagine if you are always happy, as in always happy, the feeling of happiness would slowly lose its significance.

For these past few weeks, I've been feeling really happy, that I think I've forgotten how sad feels like. Even when our PW teacher was screaming at our group, I was like, 'Is she scolding us?'

Suddenly, sadness sets in. It might be the effect of happiness wearing off. Perhaps the former her is more suited in the less joyful world of her own. Sadly, she seems to be more efficient in that world.

I enjoy basking in the joy with everyone else, yet also enjoy feeling down on my own. However, it's quite irritating when people always pull me away from my own little lovely world to converse in meaningless windows. I don't mean the one with TG, I meant another window. :D

I need someone to talk to NOW. ): But whenever people are around to talk to, I'm always feeling happy. People are rarely there when I want to open up to them. This is so contradicting.

Are you dead or what?

2009-05-31T16:33:00.002+08:00

Recently, I've become different. Honestly, I don't know why I've become like this. To a certain extent, I'm not even sure if I've changed or not. It's just something that my brain keeps telling me: You have changed my dear.

Can I believe what my mind tells me? It seems rather stupid and contradicting not to listen and to believe your mind though. Seriously. Nevertheless, I believe it's fine not to believe yourself sometimes.

Let's assume that I've changed then, and give it a go at listening to my confused mind. I guess the reason I'm confused is because I've come up with too many hypothetical questions to solve. If I reduce my many questions to only a few simple ones, then produce a simple answer for each of it, I might be more clear-minded.

Haha. As if matters were so easy to solve. It feels like I'm going through this transition period, but I just cannot pin-point out the category of this transition period.

Actually I think I'm muttering nonsense here. Haha. Just stop reading if you think this sucks. :D I won't know anyway.

I'm still going to continue typing nonsense even if you are not reading. :D

With so many outstanding questions left in my mind, floating and drifting around, I'm still constantly creating more hypothetical questions. This sucks. Haha. Especially when I can't stand questions floating around in my mind. Yet the answers I produce are not convincing enough.

Can everyone who reads till this line leave a tag? I wanna know if you think that I've changed. I would greatly appreciate it, even if you choose not to leave your name. (:

2009-05-17T23:16:00.002+08:00

Yesterday we had our concert! YAY! It was a long day, but actually I wished it could go on. Honestly, I hope I don't forget this day, since I don't have a fantasic memory. Because I can only remember images? Yea. The whole of yesterday was wonderful. :D

Towards the end of the TJCO concert, I felt a little overwhelmed. It was going to end. And everyone is going to disperse after that. I got a little moody then. But I got all hyped up after the concert haha! Thanks for your support! I love all of you! :D

Theresa was so happy to see us during the interval, and was to excited to see me in makeup, that she poked my eye. And the funny thing is, I couldn't feel anything, only saw a finger moving towards my eye. Haha. Ruishan was quite amazed by my look. Baoyi was all hyper, like always. Haha. Amanda popped up from nowhere.

And today, from the moment I wake up, I can't stop thinking about CO. I felt super moody the whole day. Anyway, I woke up damn late at 12pm to eat, watched tv till I slept halfway from 1pm to 3pm. Haha. The thing is I'm unhappy that there's no more CO to bug me now. I'm starting to miss CO and everyone. It feels like the world's coming to an end. Haha. I think I'm exaggerating. Seriously, I'm very moody now.

Humans tend towards the lazy and negative side more, that's why we always fail to see the purpose behind everything we do.

2009-05-06T23:54:00.002+08:00

YAY! TJCO CLINCHED GOLD WITH HONOURS! YIPEE!

I was super happy when I heared the word 'rong', because GWH in chinese is rong yu jin pai. Then the people beside me started cheering and shouting. I couldn't help but tear uncontrollably - non-stop. Honestly, I didn't know I would have such a overwhelming feeling, though I anticipated that I would still tear no matter what happens. Haha.

The last thing I wanna say is - thanks for everyone's encouragement and wishes. I'm really touched. :D

Today is one day that I'll never forget.

I love TJCO and my lovely buddies! :D

2009-05-03T00:00:00.002+08:00

I just realise my blog actually looks pretty scary. Haha. It's okay. I like it this way. Perhaps for now. Bear with it.

Tiring it might be, I find this whole process precious, and the memories hard to forget. Whatever the result of the SYF might be, the process is good for stretching our potential. Okay it's starting to sound formal. Haha. Anyway, I'm finding it enjoyable overall. Except for the fact that I'm exhausted.

I want that to happen to me.

2009-04-25T00:04:00.002+08:00

I just came back from the megahouse function. If you were wondering, I went after CO ended. It was rather fun and enjoyable for that moment. I was wearing uniform, yet I couldn't feel any sense of awkwardness at all. Is it because flooded with commitments that I can no longer feel properly?

Anyway, I'm not feeling particularly stressed out from CO. I find it quite enjoyable actually. And I seem to be going to school everyday for CO. If you told me that there would be no CO for one day, I think I would be lost with all the regained time.

Anyway, I'm pretty happy, except that I have mountains of tutorials left undone. HAHA! It's going to be one hard mountain to scale.

Okay, I've got CO in the morning, saturday, which is today! haha. So I need to sleep. Nights. :D

2009-04-02T23:15:00.002+08:00

I'm here, surprisingly.

I'm freaking tired from rushing out my PI till 2am yesterday. It was seriously not something to be proud of. It just goes to show how lousy I've managed my time. The problem is that there's no time for me to manage. Haha. Because CO is like everyday.

To rush out the PI, I didn't even touch the econs tutorial and the only I can do is to smile widely at my tutor when she starts checking everyone's work. Haha. Then, I realise this situation needs improvement.

The idea of sleeping at 1am everyday sounds pretty fine to me, but the fact that I cannot complete everything before I sleep sounds uncomfortable to me.

Anyway, I'm fine, not depressed. I just wanna find somewhere to moan and moan and moan.

What are you to me exactly?

2009-03-09T22:16:00.002+08:00

It's been pretty long since I blogged. Haha. Before this blog becomes totally deserted, I had better post something on it.

My schedule is still full. I can hardly find time out to even complete my tutorials. The only times when I start doing my tutorials is during weekends. How cool. Moreover, times during weekends are getting lesser and the tutorials seem to pile on. Honestly, I'm pretty afraid of dropping into the vicious cycle the maths tutor always mentions.

Actually, I haven't prepared much for the stuff this week. Oh no. Even if I have the time, I still choose to slack it off. HAHA. This is super contradicting. Hah.

I guess everyone's equally busy! My smile aint just a facade. It's still true happiness beaming from inside! :D And I hope everyone can take on life just as it is.

I think I'm like the slackest among the muggers.

2009-03-01T12:13:00.003+08:00

I look like I'm not that stressed yet. I think that I'm not that stressed yet either. But perhaps I may be wrong.

This underlying stress is pulling my mood from one extreme to another. One moment, I'm freaking happy. The next, I'm so angry over the smallest thing. I lose my temper so easily. And I can see it. Am I really that stressed?

Perhaps you might be stressed out now too. It's good not to assume that you are not stressed, just because you think you haven't reached the maximum stress level yet. I guess it's normal now. Hope I can recover quickly. I don't want to turn into someone who is short-tempered.

I just realise that we need to moderate some of the things we wish to achieve. We can't always get perfect scores and standards.

We can do it.

2009-02-15T23:22:00.002+08:00

I'm wondering if anyone reads my posts. Haha. But anyway, thanks for reading. It's like super boring, plus I'm getting preoccupied to update it often.

I'm feeling unwell now. Freaking unwell. Whatever.

I've been trying to make myself a better person. I've spotted where I'm weak at, where my loopholes are, where my mistakes are. So, Hence, I'm glad that I showed some minute improvements. Haha.

My mood, health and level of energy seems to determine how much I speak though. I'm especially quiet during those times. Perhaps I just seem to stand out when I don't talk at all. But I'm listening. (:

The small gathering on saturday was fufilling, despite me not speaking much. I admit I was a little sleepy then. Haha. But I enjoyed myself yea. Those times spent together were especially blissful.

I always thought I walked out of it, but in fact, I never did.

2009-02-09T22:31:00.002+08:00

I'm getting more and more preoccupied with each day. As you can see, my bored times seemed to be disappearing, thus blogging here becomes less often. I even need serene to poke at me before I blog. Hah.

I guess this is how our lives are going to be transformed. I hope everyone has made arrangements for this change. I know I have and I think I overdid it somehow. Haha.

Orientation week was more fun than I expected it to be. Perhaps it's because I get to know more people. And when people make friends, we just get this natural sense of satisfaction. I love OG 12 man. I seriously think that we shouldn't be changing houses. I love daekaron man.

I enjoyed myself for the past week lah. But today right, I felt perhaps I don't fit in. A thought of regret flashed through my mind. I questioned myself if I was in the right place, the right school. Maybe because it's way different. Whatever, I just concluded that I won't fit in anywhere. Haha. Yee Ling just needs more time to adjust.

The maths lecture was pretty entertaining, because the lecturer was pretty humurous. I enjoyed it, except for that fact that I wasn't able to grasp the concept immediately the moment I was taught it. This kind of pisses me off.

The econs lecture was a total silent one. She's like super demanding. And I can't stand her voice. Haha. Actually I wanted to write this on my paper - What the fuck is she talking about? - But I didn't. Soon, I got the hang of it, and was on my way to listening and processing. It's something similar to human geography. Somehow I guess econs will be my weakest subject.

Oh yea, there's something I really wanted to do during the econs lecture but didn't do. Haha. (:

Mesmerised by you.

2009-01-30T00:03:00.003+08:00

I havent been blogging recently, because I was hooked on to the diner dash game on the psp. Still addicted, nothing I can do about it. Entertaining it may be, but it certainly does damage to the eyes and fingers. Feeling pretty sick everytime I stop though. Anyway, I cant help it.

Yesterday I went for a run at my nearby park. It was an unexpected event though. I was awoken when my brother was counting money of some sort in the room, and I couldn't get back to sleep. Thus I decided on having a run. My mother was kind of shocked too.

Running is good, I guess. For at least it can help remove some toxins, especially for someone who has been rotting away at home for so long. It's time to exercise! Haha.

Perhaps everyone can use some exercise now. Yea now.

Because healthy people are happy people.

Why end it?

2009-01-21T23:14:00.002+08:00

It looks like I'm still rotting at this moment. Hah. I spend my days out, and it's mostly to kill time or to buy stuff. At the same time, it gives me more time to think about what I'm going to do later on in life.

There's a period where I thought my ambition was to become a psychiatrist. Then suddenly I decided that perhaps it's only on impulse. And it kind of clashes with the kind of life that I really hope to achieve. After all, what I wanna do is to have children. (:

But looking at how the world is becoming, I think there will be an increasing number of people seeking psychological treatment. Hah. Maybe being a psychiatrist aint too bad after all.

I just lack the drive to go research on how I'm going to be one. Anyway, the main motive is to be happy with the job and its monetary terms. :D

I'm still pondering over what I'm going to be in the future. Perhaps what I think I'll be won't be what I am going to be. Let's just choose the paths that we want to take, and not let yourself be trapped in one place.

Play while we still can.

2009-01-15T23:42:00.002+08:00

I got my results back a few days ago. Hah. I did better than I expected. Way better. I thought I would do something crazy, like jump around. Haha. I didn't.

Until now, I'm still basking in my own world of happiness. I find this whole situation pretty unbelievable. I thought perhaps I don't deserve it, because it feels like I just scrape through the whole thing. But as I come to think of it, everyone said that I mugged a lot, and I think I did too.

I've got 8 pure distinctions out of 9 subjects, if you forgot. Haha. My english got a B3. My Higher Chinese got an A1, and I thought perhaps I'm really lucky.

I've attained 6 points, with 4 bonus points. In short, 2 points.

I can barely believe it until now. I achieved something that I never even dreamed of.

Anyway, I'm going to TJ. Yea.

I LOVE RUISHAN! (:

2009-01-12T00:16:00.003+08:00

Many people are about to start school again once more. It's pretty exciting to some, but a chore to others. But it doesnt take its tone on me. Something else is, for at least, slowly.

I seemed to forget about the fact that I'm going to get my results until I went online to talk to my mother who's in Japan now. People started asking me how I felt, and then I started feeling that way again.

Something in your body seems to be blazing up; the heat is spreading fast to the other areas too. The fiery blaze seems to be radiating out from the core of the body; perhaps it's from the palpitating heart that's about to hop out. It's pretty contradicting; how it's so hot yet the freezing shivers can be sent down the spine. Additionally, the heat is able to make your head expand too; to the point where the head is really heavy and burdened. Perhaps due to the expansion of the head, the eyes start to lose its function too; it starts to see images of the unforeseen future.

I wonder what my reaction would be.

I bet I'll lose control of myself. Hah.

Let's take it easy for now.

2009-01-10T00:44:00.002+08:00

We've went to the various poly open houses. My actual motive was to kill time. So I learnt something from the entire experience. I learnt how to reject people swiftly.

Presenter: Do you have any courses in mind?
Me: ( pauses to think )
Presenter: Then do you wanna know more about this ...... ?
Me: No.
Me: ( smiles ) Thank you.

I find that I kinda attract people from the engineering side, where I'm not interested in. They specially like to approach me on courses regarding aeroplanes. Do I look like I'm interested to build a plane of my own?

Anyway, I got everything sorted out.

Life still goes on aimlessly.

2009-01-06T23:26:00.002+08:00

I've been thinking a lot recently. About myself especially. I'm a good person, yet I'm bad at times. I expect myself to be a good person, never a bad one of course. Yet I want to do bad things and feel good about myself at the same time. Haha.

It's pretty complicated. But I think I got it all figured out. The fact that it will never be.

Perhaps life can only be interesting when we can balance both good and bad. Being too good will put one at a certain disadvantage, whereas being too bad will put one in immense guilt and remorse. On the other hand, being good makes you feel good naturally haha. And being bad makes one feel evil. Ahahaha. It gives you the kick and excitement. Hah.

Of course, being good most of the time would be best. (:

I found something really true about my personality today. I love harmony. Yea.

I want to do bad things yet feel good at the same time.

2009-01-01T13:56:00.003+08:00

I've been repeatedly encountering the following phrase; new year's resolution.

I guess I should come up with one too. Hah.

I wish I can become a better person. I hope the paths that I choose and the decisions I make can be beneficial; not only to me but to the people around me as well. Having no regrets, I hope I can make the (my) world a better place to live in. I'm not really hoping for much; just wanna keep what I've got; pursue my goals in the future; bring and spread love.

It sounds freaking bimbo man. Ahahahahaha.

There are just too many resolutions to be checked.

Just do what we deem fit.

Happy new year to you.

(:

2009-01-01T00:18:00.002+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Hah.

Actually it's getting pretty normal anyway. It's like nothing has happened. Ahahahahaha.

I drank some wine, and I see myself turn so red for the first time. Haha. My whole face seemed to resemble some cherry. Hah. Perhaps I gulp it down too readily.

You are back.

2008-12-28T21:54:00.002+08:00

I went reading blogs, and I realised something amiss about my posts. Hah. It seems to lack content, and it's too aloof. Heahea. But I seem to feel more for such posts. (:

Anyway, reporting facts seems to be out of my mind now. I think my memory's failing me too.

Truth is, I feel a little lost now. Perhaps I lost targets to work towards, or the force to make me do something. I'm just wasting my youth now. Feeling rather useless at home. Spendthrift when I'm out buying. Growing fat when I'm at home watching tele and sleeping.

It's really getting bored around here. Haha. My life seems to be even more no life. Hah. Don't worry, I'll create life for myself! Ching Ching~ Being in these relaxed moments aint that bad after all. I was looking forward to this kind of life during mugging moments.

I guess having nothing to do is good then. (:

I love my life, now and those mugging moments too. Perhaps it's real easy for me, to say that I love those hard mugging times now too, because it's over after all. Yea.

At least we can hang out tml. I'm pretty excited somehow. Maybe being with my parents for too long durng the trip made me a little eccentric. I think it's my brother. Oh no.

He's like rushing his homework now. HAHA. I've got none. Ahahaha. You too! Ahahahahahaha

Have a pleasant holiday.

2008-12-27T01:35:00.003+08:00

Haha I'm back! =D

I had a whooping great time at Hong Kong! Because the hotel rocks man! Plus I'm eating something different everyday. Hah. Not tired now, because I'm accustomed to this timing alr. I sleep during the day now. Anyway, I'm feeling a little regretful, because I wasn't able to wish everyone a merry christmas on time. My mother would have had a shock of a lifetime when she sees the phone bill. Haha.

Another thing is, I couldn't find any suitable gifts, so I didn't buy anything back for you guys. Don't be too ya.

The only thing I hate there are their smokers. They simply turn me off.

I seriously hate smokers.

I just came to appreciate and cherish the true beauty of Singapore.

MERRY CHRISTMAS! =DDD

2008-12-20T23:36:00.004+08:00

I'm going to return on 26th dec. Ya. Flying there tml morning.

I wonder if you'll miss me. But I'll definitely be. (:

Hope this hongkong trip would be more friendly and more easy-going than the previous one.

For at least I know I'll be living somewhere of higher standards. Hah.

Are you a goal for me to reach or an obstacle to overcome?

2008-12-18T23:33:00.002+08:00

Hi Hello Welcome!

I'm finally back from Hong Kong. Hah. Since it's a school trip, I didn't really expect much from it. Overall contented, though I'm pretty unhappy with the service. Fuck man. They threw our stuffings away, sheesh.

Anyway, I made quite a number of new friends. So it's rather fruitful.

Then next week I'm going to Hong Kong again with my family. So it's going to be free and easy. Aha. I can do whatever I want, I hope.

I want my earphones fixed.

2008-12-13T00:31:00.002+08:00

I suppose everything's going in a cycle yea? I'm used to this already. Otherwise, I feel really funny without you, even for a day. Don't make me worry for nothing.

Promise me, you won't leave me behind.

Don't hide.

2008-12-10T22:21:00.003+08:00

The sparrow was purely enjoying its flight in the vast sky. To that minute body, it was as though it was a swift eagle soaring in the air, tearing the clouds apart. Freedom was what the sparrow had at that moment. Freedom gave it the legitimacy to do what it want; create whatever crazy patterns it wanted. Freedom was almost everything to the little sparrow.

Just before the little bird could settle down to find its life, the bits and pieces of bread that were scattered about caught its attention. Unknowing of the danger ahead, the harmless creature landed on the ground and started pecking. Little did it knew that its most precious belonging was being jeopardised.

Next thing that happened was almost predictable; it was surrounded by many of its own kind. Simply, it had been trapped in a cage. It was lost at first. Tried to escape, but to no avail.

Too bad, the bird picked this way itself. It chose to take the advantages that were presented upfront, so it could only accept whatever consequences that would come along with it as well.

Right from the beginning, the sparrow never did lose its most precious belonging; its freedom. What the little one lost was its adaptability; the ability to accept the way of life.

If the sparrow couldn't accept the fact, it would just be a pathetic soul, stuck in the midst of hell, squeezing with the others, fighting against each other to survive. Seriously, it's pathetic.

Unless the sparrow is open-minded and decides to embrace the fact, it will never be rid of this shadow. Nobody said the cage can't be as big as the sky.

If you are unhappy with your life right now, being grumpy and procrastinating will bring you nowhere. Don't expect the situation to change for you, because it might never will. Hah. Be like the sparrow, change your mindset and see things in a different light. Or live in agony then.

You'll be happier this way, even if you are a trapped sparrow. Take your time to adapt, no hurry. Think slowly, what you really deserve. The definition of freedom is up to each and everyone of us to decide.

No situation can ever change, the only thing that can is our mindset.

I don't mind being trapped in that really huge cage though. (:

Tweet~

2008-12-08T23:09:00.002+08:00

I didn't sleep a wink for the first day of the chalet, so I've been sleeping real early the last few days. Hahahaha. I guess my body thinks that I need to make up for the lack of sleep. Anyway, I've got ample sleep now. Hah.

Chalet was fun, with all the mahjong and playing. I was dead beat, until I can't even exert any little amount of strength. For every little movement, I thought some of my muscles tore. I shouldn't have played that much in the arcade. Oh well.

I've had my share of fun. But I've got much in mind yet to be done.

I don't know why I'm bonded to the school for the trip. The content seems rather dry. Haha. But I guess it'll be fun lah.

I'm getting a little shaky up on my tower now.

2008-12-02T23:53:00.000+08:00

I'll be away at chalet.

Will you miss me?

2008-11-30T23:06:00.002+08:00

I think my life is exciting. At least for now, before mugging sets in again. I can plan wherever I want to go now, at my own pace. It's rather nice to be alone. It gives me time to think about those stuff around me. Kinda like some self-reflection exercise.

Contemplate over the mistakes I made; Stand by the decisions I make; Smile over the happy stuff; Entertain myself with the weird things. Being alone really gives you all the time in the world to make yourself a better person.

Suddenly, I come to think that I'm pretty stubborn. I may be in the wrong, but I refuse to admit to the person that I am, though I already admitted it to myself.

I may look stupid to you, a little lost somehow. But actually I'm thinking deeper down than most people are. I'm thinking of something else that you will never ever think of. Seriously, it's something that you will never think of. I appear lost, because my thoughts just don't tally with yours.

Some can read parts of my mind, but actually it's just the more real parts of my life. You've yet to step into my world of thoughts. I find my deepest thoughts unbearable to others. People are rather intolerable to my deepest thoughts still. I carelessly spilled them out, and it never leads to anything good. Hence I decided to cut down or even nullify their exposure.

I'll just say the more presentable thoughts of my mind that were instantaneously created along with my deepest thoughts to suit the society. Though people become offended easily somehow with my deepest comments, I won't deny myself of these thoughts anyway. I find them perfectly fine, and even sometimes think that others should just believe in them totally as well. Too bad, society is unable to accept them, they just have to be kept to myself then.

That's why I'm always speechless. Some of my words come with masks attached. Even this piece of text carries a mask before it. Some words have been altered to suit the society, to make this piece of writing acceptable.

Seriously, very little people can accept my theories immediately. I find it a shame. No wonder I'm a freethinker.

Censorship of my deepest thoughts has reached its maximum. As I get more educated, the more I feel that I should express myself regardless of how people feel and react towards them.

Nevertheless, I still choose to express the words that society prefers, to what I really think. They are pretty intolerable and dictative to many. Hah.

Anyway, you might be thinking that my deepest thoughts are really really mean. They aren't. They are just intolerable. Want to hear one?

I think everyone should think the way I think, so that everyone can be a better person.

Actually this is something I created simultaneously along with the deepest thought.

You've yet to come into my world.

2008-11-28T23:50:00.003+08:00

The world is in a huge mess now. Violence and bloodshed is spreading from what I hear. The value of shares are crashing down still. The economy is coming to a standstill once more. Will we even live to see the next generation grow?

Looking at how those terrorists take lives away indiscriminately, I think I definitely fear death. What if I died in the gunshots of those bloody bastards on my overseas trip? Seriously, I don't want to. Eh, but at least it's a quick death I suppose.

I hope a catastrophe strikes and nullify all. Wipe out all organisms on earth, especially humans. So everything can start all over again. Because this world is way too polluted and corrupted.

Anyway, I fear death still.

Impress me eh.

2008-11-26T23:41:00.002+08:00

I'm bored now. Entertain me.

I got a job under winnie's recommendation. Some cheap labour. HAHA. But as long as I get the money, nothing else matters actually. Perhaps the job is to kill time as well. HAHA.

My mother says that I'm still snatching other people's ricebowls. Oh well. I'm trying to get some cash for myself to spend. It's pathetic to stretch my hand out everyday for cash to spend.

No one entertained me in the end.

2008-11-22T23:31:00.002+08:00

I just love my teevee. =D

And I think it's still going to spoil soon.

I just realise how much I have spent in just one week. Ahahaha. It's rather serious. I'm going broke soon. And reaching out my hand to my mother for money is rather pathetic too. Hope I can get some cheap labour job soon. At least the little sum of money earned can cover up for my expenses this holiday.

I want to be independent, though I can take as much money as I want. Because my mother dotes on me. (:

Anyway, it's getting bored staying at home. Might as well do labour and earn extra. Then I can spend even more. HAHA.

Oh ya, it's no wonder my ambition was not any job in the service industry. I just realised how much I wanted to be an entrepreneur. Being an employee just suck. Hah.

To put in simple words, I never liked to act according to anyone's wishes. Unless I want to, that is.

Just give me a job.

2008-11-18T22:28:00.002+08:00

A little girl holding onto a piece of string stood rooted to the ground. Beside her was a big oak tree that stood rooted to the ground too. She refused to budge, not an inch at all. In her hands, that particular piece of string was special to her. She promised herself not to let go of the kite she's been holding on for all these ages. Just like the tree which would stand strongly and resist the weather patterns.

It was tattered and torn. Its streamers aint as frilly as before. Obviously, its colour has faded as well. That striking red body is reduced to a tainted white figure, like how the blood would have been drained away from it. The folds and holes can only represent nothing, but the many injuries sustained. Will the same ending befall on her then?

She's really been holding onto that string of the lousy kite for ages. Is it time she let go both her hands off that string to embrace a new one? Her thoughts may be wavering, but her heart and desire never did.

The fucking kite had been stuck up in the intricate branches of the big oak tree for as far as the girl had stood rooted there. Her determination was so alarming, that even she herself couldn't believe it. Until one day, when she started to think again, could she comtemplate her foolishness.

Even self-awareness couldn't save her. She might have jolly well grew roots of her own into the ground! She was then lost and unsure of her purpose of holding onto that kite. Was she still standing there to continue her pursue for miracles? Or that she couldn't move at all, even at her own will because she became a tree too?

In any case, she's still standing there holding onto that kite. Tugging hard at it to free the kite was no solution. Letting her hands off aint easy for her at all. Standing there was the only way she could ever take.

When will another kite ever fly by?

I believe she'll still be there for the many ages that have yet to come.

2008-11-17T00:00:00.002+08:00

IT'S MY BDAY!

HAHA.

I DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE ANYMORE.

=DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

2008-11-16T12:16:00.002+08:00

I wanted to find someone to pour out my troubles to. Too bad, I just refused to used the mobile to do so. Actually, I've only got one trouble lah. Hah. Feeling a little blue now.

The television is spoilt. Noooooooooooooooo.

Thus I'm feeling freaking deprived now and a little fucked up. HAHA.

Oh ya, I decided not to work anymore. It's so stupid. They don't wanna hire me because I'm too young and I don't wish to work as cheap labour either. So let me just live off my parents for now. =D

Seriously, I just wanna crap with someone right now. HAHA.

I hope the television can revert back to its original state when I switch it on again.

Argh. Oh well.

I'll still be waiting.

2008-11-14T00:19:00.002+08:00

It's over over over.

YAY!

To be frank, I don't really feel any sudden burst of freedom or anything. It was just normal. It's like there's still another paper tml, when there's not. SO WOOHOO. Feeling no sense of freedom at all, I think it's because I'm worried about the job recruitment stuff. Anyway, my heart's getting a little tired from the searching and applying for jobs aimlessly. I guess I'm not going to find a job after all. Perhaps I'll set up my own business or sth. HAHA.

It's getting late. HAHA.

My bday's coming.

Could you give me a surprise then?

2008-11-10T23:24:00.002+08:00

Just wanna try mugging at a different place in a more relaxing manner. Seriously, it's pretty stressful to see the sec 4s and J2s study at the library together. It's like a mugging marathon, with no prize to offer though.

I always thought the reference room was awfully silent till I can't stand it at all. After it being my mugging den for so long, I actually kinda like the atmosphere there. Only that it's pretty restricting though. Nonetheless, telling me to go to the library to mug is like sending me back to my jail term and room again. Nah, no thanks.

So let's sip coffee and discuss our questions patiently in the comfortable cafe. Hah. It sounds freaking relaxing. Hope it'll be tml. A little sick of that cycle of events.

I feel like a small little canary flying freely in the dark greyish clouds about in the deep blue sky. I guess it's the feelings of most now. You are wandering freely in your own world already, yet the exams are still ongoing. Stupidly ironical. Doubt many can concentrate on MCQs now anyway. Oh well.

Tweet Tweet.

2008-11-09T23:39:00.002+08:00

I've got this freaking headache now. I think it's because I ate too much heaty stuff. HAHA. Come to think of it, perhaps the real cause was because I watched too much tv and concentrated too much.

I think I need fresh air. Feeling breathless now. Oh dear.

I'm afraid I can mug no more, because I'm absolutely distracted now. Just want to hang around and not be burdened with the fact that I've to study.

Suddenly I think that my headache could have arisen from over-dosage of sleep hours all of a sudden. There was one night I slept real late, then I wanted to make up for it by sleeping more the next few days. Ahahahahahah. Looks like it doesn't really work. Anyway, it's past midnight already. Perhaps it's time for me to sleep.

Hope it disintegrates by tml morning. Dissipate into small atoms and into a blurred image, then start fading off from the core. Disappear into null. HAHA.

Just go away.

2008-11-06T23:55:00.003+08:00

I feel deprived. Give me what I want. Ahahahahahahahah.

Actually, I've no freaking idea what I really wanna do after the exams. Being overwhelmed by the sudden burst of freedom would be rather difficult to handle, I guess. I don't even know where I want to go this saturday. I would not go to tampines library anymore. I don't wanna mug anymore. It's simply crazy how mugging has become such an integrated part of my life. Too bad, the MCQ papers are just like chains, preventing my flight, forcing me to study. Seriously, I hate to. Oh well.

Why is it so hard for me to ask him for that?

2008-11-03T22:52:00.002+08:00

I've got this thinking. One day, I hope that a disease would simply just wipe out all of human kind. Reason being, there's just simply tooooooo many people on this world. Dear disease, just kill every single one, imcluding me. Wouldn't that be great?

Everyone has their own thinking about where we'll go after we die. In my view, I think we just cease to breathe and exist in this real world anymore. It's like being put to eternal deep sleep, never to be awoken again. Why bother to go to another world? Haha. Anyway, die means die. It still seems scary to me, because I've just too many things left undone.

Wouldn't it be great if death was no longer scary? Haha. Then I'll become the scary one. (:

Anyway, 'O' levels seem to be getting more and more normal. Today I sat down at my usual table, wondering why was the exam feeling so stagnant. I can't experience the anxiety, the fear, the nervousness, the joy, the adrenaline rush, the brain drain, the tension, the gush. Practically, I was a little lost in my own world. Detached perhaps. Oh well.

The instantaneous euphoria after each exam is always so transient. This is because I've yet to study for the next paper. I'm forever rushing and burning the night oil. Is this really my 'O' levels? Seriously, it feels more like common tests to me. My ability to underestimate the influence of this important exam seem to be rather amazing to me though.

Oh well. There's five more papers left. And only one requires memory work. HAH.

This is the only comfort I have till this point. Wish me luck. =D

Might as well give me your power. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

2008-10-28T23:28:00.003+08:00

I love white mama. HAHA. I removed the tagboard as well, since it was spoiling the aesthetic feeling. Haha. You can leave comments right at the bottom if you've got something to spill.

Whatever, I'm freaking happy now. Because history is now history. Hahahahahahahahahaha.

=DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

2008-10-27T00:49:00.002+08:00

I think I grew out of everything now. Or rather grew sick haha. I want something new now. I thought I used to resist changes, looks like I'm more adaptable now. It's no longer surprising if I want to try something new now.

Guess I need more space. I need to step out of my own world now. There's a much more bigger world out there. Perhaps I'll try metal after the exams. Hah.

I want something new.

2008-10-23T22:47:00.002+08:00

Take it on with a BIG smile. :)

Walk out of the exam hall with a even BIGGER smile. :D

Mug back at home with the BIGGEST smile. :DDD

2008-10-14T23:03:00.002+08:00

Just yesterday, I dearly felt like pulling out the drawer from my neck, just to scratch my itchy and infected throat. Seriously, it was painstaking.

I decided to rest. I have this phobia of a prolonged illness that would again affect my results. Not bearing to give myself another one of this stupid regret, I decided to sleep more. Atlas, I did not. I just watched the tv for the whole day with my chemistry textbook resting harmlessly on my lap. I recovered anyway. =D

Being alone at home was pretty exciting. The fact that I get to do anything I want alone was indeed marvellous. Carefree, I say. And slackness fills the air. Hah. It felt like I was on a holiday. I was busy entertaining myself rather than mugging hard. Oh well. I love it man! =D

Indeed today was a euphoric day~

=D

I hate to take off now. After my plane rested on ground, it's difficult to start the engine now. Oh well. I've no choice.

2008-10-11T23:53:00.002+08:00

Everything seems to be rather stupid nowadays. HAH. Can I make a wish?

I sincerely wish to get results that are up to my expectations.

I guess the only stupid thing around is me.

2008-10-10T22:57:00.002+08:00

It's the finale. I enjoyed my final day in school, I guess. Coming soon will be the 'O' levels. I'm starting to feel the jitters now. I feel insecure as if I were standing on skyhigh stilts. I hate to admit this, but I think I'm really tensed up. Oh well. Like as if no one else was. Hah.

I seem to be taking a gamble with my future in this exam. It really depends on that very day. It's like betting on a die. Hear the hollow sounds coming from that shaking object, it's like eternity. On the exam day, the shaker is slammed onto the blue peeled desk in class. Horribly abrupt, you have no choice but to accept the reality- flip open the exam paper or rather uncover the underlying die in the shaker. No matter what, you just have to take and walk away what's given to you.

If you've got the number you wanted on the die, congratulations. But there's no guarantees though. If what you've studied appeared, great! Just make sure you don't screw it.

It's pretty stupid and amusing to have such a system, about the paper deciding my future.

Actually, we are a gamble ourselves too.

Seriously, must my life compromise and stick to the conventional thinking now?

I kind of admire the people who are willing to be different.

2008-10-08T22:50:00.002+08:00

As the days come closer, I can't help but feel a little lost. Actually, nothing seems to motivate me anymore. Oh well. At least for that very instant, I suppose. I'm afraid I can't meet the targets I set for myself. I'm afraid I overestimated myself. I don't want to end up disappointed in any way.

Oh well. Just mug hard luh. Nonetheless, I'm getting a little distraught over the sparse time left.

I guess it's best to stay happy and relaxed now. No point knowing all the facts, yet you get a blank screen in your mind during the exam. Take everything in my stride.

Peak at the right moment. =D

Imagine a sink of any colour you want. How about grey? It's filled with clear shimmering water, filled to the brim. Suddenly, you accidentally pulled out the plug. It becomes a whirlpool, as it sucks all the water away. How I wish I can be sucked away too.

2008-10-03T22:48:00.002+08:00

I finally realised how much my laptop means to me. It's more than just a tool, it's already my pet. I'm just really glad you were saved.

Today we went for MJ's open house. It was rather fun, which kinda reminds me of TJ too. Hah. I was getting a little hyper then. I seriously enjoyed myself.

I could only remember that we were playing soccer happily on their field. It's rather cool that we won't get all grubby and muddy from playing. Because it's synthetic grass. Hah. Anyway, it has been years since I last kicked a ball.

Then we played table tennis as well. But soccer was seriously fun and entertaining. We were purely just kicking like amateurs. Anyway, we had our share of fun. I dearly wanted to run on the track, just like how we did at TJ. I kinda forgot that before we left.

Perhaps MJ is going to be a school that we can easily adapt to. It feels rather warm to be there. Not shy or worried, we just had our share of fun. I truely enjoyed myself there.

It's pretty entertaining to see our seniors there and our fellow classmates there too; playing basketball in other premises again. For a moment, I thought the guys in our class were seriously considering about their education. Seems like I'm wrong.

I noticed you; still the same you. I mouthed a goodbye behind your back, before I turned to see your view disappear with the pillar.

I'm still slanted towards TJ more. Yea.

I'm just glad you survived.

2008-09-26T23:09:00.002+08:00

A tower started building, extending vertically upwards towards the skies. I've no idea how this tower can shoot up, but I know that I'm standing right on top. It's only slowly elevating upwards as time passes by.

Right at the bottom of the tower, there's practically nothing. You can only see many dirty-greenish bricks that move supernaturally in midair. They are moving so swiftly, rapidly taking up their positions to construct the walls of the tower. The tower is elevating upwards as time passes by.

The tower was initially non-existant. Till I met you. Things started to change. My tower started building up and elevating. The sturdy walls blocked out the rest completely. From my lovely view from the top, you were nothing more but perfect. Unfortunately, the tower continued rising upwards. The tower is still elevating upwards with time.

After so long, the tower has risen sky-high. I can see nothing, but the dark clouds that loom above the horizon. I can no longer see you. You are so minute, I can hardly see you, nor feel your presence. You live in my mind, solely based on my vague interpretation of you. I think I'm starting to feel a little lonely already. The tower hasn't ceased elevating upwards still.

You know what? My tower is getting a little old and rickety now. The sturdy walls are no longer what they used to be. Just any charging bull can send me and my tower down now I guess. Will I die if I fall from my tall tower? Will I? It's such a pity to send my lovely green tower down though. It's so high up here, I see can see nothing, fucking bleak. If my tower's still building, I can't feel it anyway. I'm sorry, but I've no idea if the tower has yet to cease elevating upwards.

This tower was specially built for muddy.

2008-09-25T22:25:00.002+08:00

A hearty chat we had today. I seriously enjoyed it. It wouldn't be the same if we weren't in uniform chatting.

Anyway, I'm sort of slacking now. Chatting merrily on msn. I'm starting to lose my senses all over again. I'm afraid my reliance would develop into some barrier. I almost forgot the fact that I decide to sweep out and leave only him in my heart.

I still like my muddy. I know it's impossible, but I can't control where my reliance wants to lie on. It's been so long, that I've kinda forgotten the reason I liked him for.

I guess I'm not ready for any of these relations yet. I only want to stop at liking someone. I think it'll be rather easy to win my heart, as long as I have a good impression. I'm really shy at this.

I only wanna like muddy.

2008-09-23T23:00:00.002+08:00

I seriously think that mugging is the most strenuous activity to me. I'm damn tired and weary from just one day of total studying. I was studying in class today, stretching out my legs and resting them on the chair while I laid back and read. It's rather comfy actually. Hah. I was kinda blasting rock music into my ears, and I could dozed off in the loudness. This was how listless I was.

There's not much time left, and I find myself struggling to complete the homework and still carry on with my study plans. It's pretty impossible, provided I don't sleep luh, which is stupid. The load would soon be building up, as soon as all the teachers start giving us compiled notes. Shouldn't these materials be given earlier to us? There's seriously too many to be done.

I guess this will help us learn how to prioritise our time. I don't think I'm doing a good job at this, but at least I'm dedicating twice the time to mugging now. Actually I'm literally doing the same thing all over again. I'm a little shaky with my humanities now. I really need someone to save me. Can the rest of the subjects not bug me with more papers?

Anyway, I'm getting real tired from all the studying. Time fleets now, when I thought it used to crawl during language lessons. Haha. Oh well.

Know your mistakes and move on.

2008-09-20T22:53:00.002+08:00

We graduated yesterday. The only thing I can remember was that I danced with all my might. And the puff was simply heavenly. The graduation ceremony was pretty boring, that a streamer which got caught in the rotating fan grabbed almost everyone's attention. Our principal's speech was really geared towards imspiring everyone, using real examples. Mr Chua would have rambled on all based on Ngee Ann and their education policy. Hah.

Our dance was really good to me, not because of the decibels recorded from the applause, but because I could feel that our class has placed in full-hearted enthusiasm and effort. Anyway, I reckon the applause was mostly from the teachers. The rest could only see the obvious flaws present, purely because they are blinded by our performance. Too good to be true. Jealous that we are the only full class performing?

I enjoyed myself and I want to do it again. Hah.

I <3 4R3.

We dined in at swensens. The bill was shocking, but we could get out of the restaurant. After that we discussed the story about 'the Time traveller's wife' at TIMES, but I still couldn't figure out what the fuck is happening, so I decided to embrace the idea of reading that book. Ya. Sounds fake right? I am going to do it. HAH.

I'm bent on making my L1R5 a seven.

7 (:

2008-09-18T22:26:00.003+08:00

Peak at the correct moment. Alright then. I'll trust you. I'm feeling a little pressurised with all the high expectations, be it from peers or even teachers. I'm really stunned and I really won't disappoint you. Trying my best sounds superficial, I'll see what I can do. And I came up with my new set of values again. Ahahahahaha.

I'll be humble and learn from everyone's strengths. I'll evaluate myself as someone who wants to jump many grades now. I'll see what I'm stupid at, and find my way out. Wakakakakaka.

Anyway, I know reading this is fucking boring, because I don't report on any real stuff in school. It wouldn't be exciting to read mine either. Perhaps. I'll say something about graduation day tml.

I'm feeling reaaaalllllllly hyper now. YEA. All the dancing has left me wanting for more. Hahahahahahaha. =D

Handsome, want to dance?

2008-09-16T22:46:00.003+08:00

I'll start saving myself by giving myself more space. I'll watch more tv. Ahahahahahahaha.

Oh dear, can someone save me?

I'm starting to blabber nonsense. I hate to be thrown back down, but climbing up aint easy too.

It's getting real tired now, but you cant just stop here. You have to continue, otherwise you'll still be banging the wall. If you had tried, at least the bitterness wouldn't hurt that much. You only have to give yourself an answer.

Have you any fucking idea how much you mean to me?

2008-09-15T22:20:00.002+08:00

I feel like a gone case right now. Just hit me. Fuck. Seriously, I feel like banging the wall right now. I'm just really glad I'm sick and stayed at home today. I would have vomitted in class if I went to school today. Oh well.

I just spent a long time trying to convince myself again. Since mugging doesn't really make a difference, should I just slack my days away? I'm fucking sick now.

I suppose I need to think more now. I refuse to find excuses for myself. And I hate people to question me. I guess I just need a little more push.

Anyway, Im fucking sick of being sick now. And I just cant control my emotions. Fuck.

I feel like banging the wall now.

Oh well. Let's do something concrete to save myself. Procrastination never works.

2008-09-11T22:46:00.002+08:00

I was fucking sick the whole period. It just wasn't nice of you to ignore me. Honestly, I think this period is one of my down moments. I guess it'll be great my results turn out fine. I'm completely stranded there, pathetic. Seriously, it takes much more to encourage yourself.

I've seemed to have grown out of everything. I show no interest in anything at all. All these waiting has made me impatient. Don't let me have the idea of erasing anything at all. I'm no longer my usual self now.

Make good your promises. I hate to say goodbye.

2008-09-03T22:26:00.002+08:00

I suppose you had a great time, you had better. =D

Although I couldn't learn how to power bowl, it was just insignificant to matter. It's just an excuse, I know. Those lovely pancakes were ruined in my hands, but I think you'll eat them clean, right? I had the most entertaining time at the arcade, though my back and limbs are starting to protest now. It's because I'm having fever.

My fever failed to subside from yesterday, and I burned up again when I started mugging. I coughed non-stop, damn fuck. I went back and slept, and the only ones who knew I was ill were my cousins, because they saw me popping panadol. Thanks for your panadol yea. The rest just thought I was tired from mugging. Until I started coughing simultaneously like a M16, did they knew I had cough only. The feeling of being sick is rather nice, but I just can't let go of my duties to mug.

I'm very sick here. Say something nice.

2008-09-02T22:40:00.002+08:00

I'm utterly bored again. I think I'm sick, because my limbs are cold and my head is hot. I popped a panadol and continued mugging, which is wrong, but I'm feeling better now.

My cough is still pretty bad though. I'm getting so good at self-medication, that my mother doesn't know I'm ill. Haha. Anyway, don't learn. I did it for the dinner she was cooking. I hate porridge.

I think I'm sick, but I'm indeed sick. I hate coughs.

2008-09-01T22:16:00.002+08:00

I'd rather explain than describe. It's my 200th post and I guess the text has evolved since the first time I started. I'm glad I changed. (:

Organising an event aint an easy thing, but I'm very happy to hear that the beneficiary is satisfied. I think that's the most crucial factor. =D At least 6 would be turning up, inclusive of you, I hope. Be nice and turn up. Too many questions makes you seem shallow. Ahahahaha. We'll bowl and eat and study. I'm a total mugger, so the plan has satisfied basically everyone's demands. Yea. My wonderful planning would assure your happiness, Ma. Excited?

I'll see everyone on Wednesday then.

The hormones would have ran dry after two years. Why is the feeling still here to stay then?

2008-08-31T23:31:00.002+08:00

I was watching and playing today. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Can someone save me? I'm not even geared up for anything at all. I love this slacking atmosphere too much man. =D

I've decided to shut out the rest for you. Say something nice.

2008-08-29T22:40:00.003+08:00

Happy teachers' day.

Seriously, I'm wondering if today's celebrations were actually meant for children's day. It's like so not appreciating the teachers' efforts. I rather the school kept us in classes in school uniform. Honestly, I didn't even feel any mood at all. I felt like a wooden block.

The primary school class gathering turned out pretty fine with more then half the class turning up. We ate then decided to catch a NC16 movie. I managed to get myself across absurdly, because I'm 15+, but some people failed to. The greatest thing was that we displayed class spirit. We changed all 19 tickets to another movie which was PG. The change ended up at a later timing. So, we started sitting around in circles. The circle was rather big and round. Anyway, we watched 'Meet Dave', and I slept in the cinema again. Ahahahahaha. Bimbotic.

I waited till the last moment for you. You didn't appear. I simply detest this feeling of waiting. Fate has decreed that we shan't meet today, but that doesn't mean that it's the end. I'll continue waiting. Knowing it is meaningless, I just can't control myself.

Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you.

2008-08-28T22:22:00.002+08:00

It's the intermediate break between the prelims now. So this holiday is going to be very exciting. I'm going to conquer those books. Ahahaha. I sound like some super mugger. Hahahahahaha.

Anyway, I've got nothing to do now. It's like so boring, to the extent that I've to find myself some entertainment. There's no more olympics and it's damn boring. Perhaps studying just makes up my life now. I'm a super mugger. Ahahahahaha. I wish to be smart, so that I need not study no more. Ahahahahaha. =D

I'm just being crazy here. I was talking to my other twin just now on msn. It's even more entertaining than talking on the phone. I didn't know the msn personal message could be that powerful.

Anyway, this week was the best week I ever had these few months. Only someone can be the reason. I suppose I need not reiterate myself. I really hope you read this.

You are the darkest memory I ever had, even my last attempt to give you up failed.

To you, someone who is tall, handsome and 17.

2008-08-26T22:59:00.002+08:00

You are trying to fake and escape. I don't know how you thought about me, but I know I thought about it the whole night. I really don't know how much exactly this means to me. Meanwhile, let us just enjoy the hapiness we created. =D

2008-08-25T23:01:00.002+08:00

=D I'm just gonna fall into that bottomless pit again.

2008-08-24T23:21:00.002+08:00

Comfort me. You made me crazy. I was just only hoping to do something nice.

Won't you even let me?

2008-08-22T21:27:00.003+08:00

That's a picture of my sec three table. It was my favourite table. It just reminds me of everything that happened during sec three. 2007 is the year. Too bad, no one has the ability to turn back time.

Ripples simply relive that moment I lost to time. Tell me what to do.

2008-08-20T23:27:00.002+08:00

This is my most relaxing exam eve, because the exam starts at 11am. So, I can sleep late and go late. Haha. And I can wake up to begin my study adventure. It's just going to be sooooo fun. I don't know why I'm so happy to take the exam tml. Perhaps I can feel my way to that limited freedom after the exams. Afterall, it aint going to be everlasting freedom. Pouts. Oh well.

I always take such a long time to decide on what to do. I just wanna study and not sleep. Finish that pile of workshit. I really mean workshit. I forget how I did those papers, just like I forget how my stools look like.

I yearn for that limited freedom. Could you give it to me? (:

2008-08-19T23:52:00.001+08:00

Before I sleep, I just want to say I've been great. And so are you.

Nights. (:

2008-08-17T00:19:00.003+08:00

I like Jam Hsiao. HAH. It's actually not that paste that goes on bread, it actually means on-the-spot performace.

I'm starting to break down with my lack of beauty sleep. So, I'm gonna turn in soon.

Oh yea, before winnie spreads it, spoiling my reputation, I'll say it out myself first. I borrowed this rather horny book, that has this very small section on 'sex' only, to share it with my brother yea. Turns out he loved the book, he went to the extent of asking me about the location of the book; he cares about the book a lot. Anyway, most of its quotes are on humanity, so it's rather deep.

I know I'm horny, just don't keep harping on that and using that against me.

Good night.

2008-08-15T21:58:00.004+08:00

I had my 'O' level english oral today. I have no idea how to gauge myself, I seem to have done well, yet screwed it up. So, I can only presume that I've done well for confidence sake.

I said good morning, instead of good afternoon. Shocking. I wasn't feeling that nervous, but I just made the first comment, a wrong one. Yea, I kinda lied in my conversation, when I kept talking about Bukit Timah Nature reserve, and saying that I go there once a month, when I've never step foot there before? Anyway, I can kinda guess everyone talked about that too. Perhaps except for one part.

I kinda screwed that.

Oh well.

I feel good. Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah~

2008-08-10T22:09:00.002+08:00

I'm back. (:

Unfortunately, there wasn't even a single grain of sand. The resort was situated at a mangrove muddy coast. Kukup is actually pretty near Singapore, considering the fact that we could still watch the NDP from channel five there. It's kinda like enclaved tourism with many chalets or resorts jutting out in a less developed area.

The settlements there are like houses on stilts, but the resort we were staying in was pretty well-furnished. It's still considered inferior, compared to those at downtown east. Imagine 6 people per room, shocking eh? Anyway, that place was like a casino, with the elders gambling?

It was a company trip, so why am I there when I'm still studying? POUTS ._. I suddenly recalled something on my way there - I wanted to go see Jam Hsiao yesterday.

Anyway, most of the people were just playing mahjong, drinking and smoking, singing karaoke or watching the olympics. It seems to be quite redundant if you wanna go there and engage in such superficial activities. There's always downtown east in Singapore.

It's overall boring, after my father brought us to do some fun stuff. We bought hooks and started fishing by the side of the wooden planks. Then we bought fireworks to make up for national day. I really thought that warplanes came to bomb us, as the fireworks crackled and boomed.

Pollution came with tourism. It smelled of shit there, but smoke was worst. I miss the NO SMOKING sign. Though there's tourism present there, the standard of living is still quite low there. A huge disparity between the resorts and local's houses. Cemented walls and wooden planks for the latter.

Anyway, a lot of handsomes there. Aha. And those olympic participants were really skilled and powerful. Very handsome too. (:

I had my share of fun. Touched no book at all. Sipped some Heineken - shiok.

2008-08-08T21:22:00.002+08:00

I'm going kukup tml for one night, which is somewhere in Malaysia. I don't feel like going, especially when I already mapped out what I would do in the library for saturday - mugging real hard. I did some research and found out that the sunny beach was a hoax, and that being on a kelong was the real thing. Feeling a little betrayed, I still have to go. Bah. ):

Today's 'Connecting Singapore' project was rather entertaining, although I'm sure staying in school for FIESTA would be a million times better. We got this chance to step into RI, which is a school deemed with the so-called despo people. Unfortunately, they sent their sec ones, so not very handsome lah. Our class guys started with a surprise friendly match of basketball with the RI guys. It's pretty much unfair, because the RIs are still wearing shorts. Oh well. Things started getting tense and unfriendly as the Green RI boy became aggressive. Oh well. We cheered for our class, of course. But I really think that we lack the sportsmanship to cheer on for the opposing team as well.

Next, we stayed under the hot blazing sun to learn the cheers all over again. It was a disgrace to them due to the lousy response, but we were a total disgrace ourselves anyway. Know what, I hate the sun. It made my face turn as red as a baboon's butt.

Blah blah blah. Then we were finally on our way to our destination, to hold hands with one another and say the pledge, which is the main motive of the project anyway. I guess our way there was the most enjoyable though.

We reached. And stood right at the sides of the expressway. Entertain ourselves, we did the Kallang wave, Kallang Jumping wave, waved at the drivers, etc. It's very surprising to see the drivers waving back, but Mr president didn't drive past. What a shame. We practised waving at drivers for so long eh. The worst thing is, we were so engrossed in playing all these nonsense, we missed the part on saying the pledge. So, the event kinda defeated its purpose. Oh well. We had such a fun and lovely time holding hands with one another, aint it?

Oh yea, on the way back, I peered over the low walls of the school and saw the swimming pool. Omg, so many handsomes with their bare backs at the pool, WEET WEET~ Yea, there was entertainment with a accapella behind us. HAH.

Surprisingly, RI does have female toilets, but the males aren't allowed entry. For the benefit of their female teachers, I suppose.

We ate Jack's place. I want the steak.

2008-08-07T21:13:00.002+08:00

It's been such a hectic week. Nevertheless, the SPA exams are gone and over. WOOHOO. And I'm now in this really relaxed mood, which is highly not recommended. Moreover, I'm gonna holiday overseas this weekend. I totally forgot about the holiday, there goes my national day.

Imagine the coconut trees swaying with the breeze, the golden sand glittering like diamonds under the sun, the turquiose waters shimmering and sparkling. I'm going there for a holiday. Ahahahahaha. Actually, I have no idea where's that place.

Anyway, it seems especially ironical that as a Singaporean, I'm not here in Singapore to celebrate national day, and instead is out overseas somewhere.

Prelims are just round the corner. The maths and sciences pile just can't seem to finish stacking up. I just wanna do my humanities, despite the fact that it's utterly boring.

Sour sucks.

2008-08-05T21:29:00.002+08:00

I feel a little offended alright. You don't know who, nevermind. Don't try to make fun okay? Hsiao is pronounced as Xiao1. Not Siao. How could you attempt to ridicule the first singer I ever acknowledged I liked? Bleh. Anyway, that manly voice can be heard when you come to my lovely blog.

Don't attempt to antagonise me.

I'll have to commit aggression if I have to.

All this stress and pressure is starting to take the toil on me.
Pardon me.

2008-08-03T00:16:00.000+08:00

I like Jam Hsiao. Anyone has a problem with this? This is my choice and freedom of speech. HAH. Don't you think that his voice is so manly? Ah~ Sexy. My brother like his songs too, alright? A manly voice.

I realised that I'm commiting aggression through my words lately. I tend to reply with sarcasm, that kinda pricks out people's aggression too. I don't know why, but I can't help tolerating not commenting. I apologise if I've hurt your feelings along the way. It harms the harmony and I feel uncomfortable too. I will regain back my peacemaking skills. Rest assured.

Anyway, there's this video my brother showed me, about the grammatical errors of the word; fuck. Or rather how to use the word fuck. It's very funny, because it's supplemented with examples. It's not offensive at all. No graphics, very safe. Perhaps you watched it before.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q23sodJ0SIg&feature=related

I like this. Aggression; Fuck you.